For years I wondered why do women breastfeed older children and get upset when the answers were not forthcoming. The answer lies in the mother’s frame of mind. When you are a mother with older children, and you decide to breastfeed them, you have internalized the motherly instinct. That means that when the baby starts crying, your first instinct is to breastfeed them even if it is not the way you were taught to feed your child.
So this sets up a whole series of negative experiences for you and the older child later on in life. You become frustrated because you are not getting the satisfaction you thought you were getting from the breastfeeding. You become angry as the older child is not going to accept you no matter what you do. You start to resent the older child because they are not responding the way you want them to. Eventually, the older child will walk out or get away, but you will be left behind feeling hurt, angry and frustrated. You may even wonder if you made a mistake by not giving the child a fatherly figure in their life.
These are all emotions that you have been living with all your life, but you ignore them. You do not learn why you do not like breastfeeding, or why older children do not like it. It is all a part of the big puzzle of why do women breastfeed older children. If you want to learn this important information, then read on.
First, when a mother is hungry and she has older children at home, it is natural for her to nurse them. Many mothers want to be the main caregiver to their babies. But when the older child starts to fuss, the mother may begin to nurse them. But many mothers who decide not to breastfeed find that they have to put in extra hours at work so they can nurse them on a regular basis.
Second, when a baby is breastfeeding, they get to express a lot of body language. They show they need milk. They show that they are happy and relaxed when the mother is around. When they are alone with the mother, they do not do as much expressing, so they do not communicate as much.
Third, breastfeeding gives the mother and the older child more time to spend together. Sometimes an older child will start to act out or be stubborn. Sometimes a mom may be working all day, and she wants to just relax with the baby. Breastfeeding gives the older child more attention.
Fourth, the mother can learn new things about breastfeeding from her older children. When they were babies, they were bottle-feeding every few hours. When they are older, they will start to read about breastfeeding and figure out the best time to nurse. This will make it easier for her to breastfeed again.
Fifth, breastfeeding allows the mother and the older child to bond. A mother can feel close to her baby because they are both in the same room. They can hear each other and get comfort. This helps the mother to bond to her baby.
Sixth, some women breastfeed older children because they like to have independence. They want to control their bodies and do what they want to do. Breastfeeding gives them that opportunity. When they are done, they want to explore the world and want to learn about food.
Seventh, it helps the mother to bond with her older child. She gets to discuss herself and how she feels about being a mother. There are love and respect. This also is good for a new mother, because it allows her to see her baby in a different light.
Lastly, when a woman has given birth, she is already bonding with her baby. It is easier to continue to bond when she is breastfeeding. Even though she is older, she can still give the baby attention and love. If she does not want to breastfeed, she can bottle feed or use a formula. She can do whatever she wants with her baby and doesn’t have to conform to what mommy says.